October 8, 1949

Today I met with the guys at the restaurant to tell them the bad news. However, I noticed an uneasy atmosphere between them.

I asked Biff if something had happened and in desperation, he began to tell me the truth that I was not aware of. he never was a salesman for Bill Oliver, he was actually just a shipping clerk.

All is lost, both my job and Biff's chance of success.  There were no good news to tell Linda, even a little one. She has waited all this time for a miracle in our life, she has suffered.

I never imagined I would say this...but Singleman's success and his limitless potential, have disturbed my mind with unrealistic ideas. I was led to believe that "selling was the best career a man could wish for". But in the end, I ended up unsuccessful.

I ignored the reality. I didn’t realize at time that I’m a ordinary man who has no special features; a man who cannot be as him.The ambition to obtain the American dream has consumed our lives, destroyed our chances of success, and ruined the relationships we had.

That one work to live is converted now into live to work.